"Dis is by far the stradgest fesdible we've encoudered, on all of our bissions," Rodney said definitively, blowing his nose for the third time in ten minutes. "I cad't figure out why adyone would celebrate pollend."
Teyla smiled softly. "It is a time of fertility," she explained, watching the proceedings in the village with what looked like wistfulness and a sense of longing. "For the plants, the animals, even the villagers. They have invited us to participate this evening. There will be a great feast, with wine and song, and a fire to light up the sky until morning brings back the twin suns."
Ronon said nothing, but he eyed Teyla for a moment, and then looked to John, his expression a deeper echo of hers. John didn't assume much about either of them, but it was pretty safe to say they'd probably both participated in festivals like this before and were feeling a little homesick, something John could sort of relate to, even though Atlantis was more home to him now than any place he'd lived before had been.
"Sounds like fun," he shrugged, despite the mutinous glare he was sure Rodney was shooting him and he was patently ignoring. "Listen, me and McKay are gonna head back to the 'gate and radio the city, let 'em know we're gonna be delayed so they don't go sending a rescue team to stomp through the grain fields looking for our sorry butts and ruining these nice folk's harvest festival on top of this one."
"That is a wise decision," Teyla agreed, her eyes lit by humour as well as excitement. "Ronon and I will secure accommodations at the inn and meet with the trade comittee in your stead."
Rodney had already started stumbling down the road toward the gate, muttering what sounded like something about getting Benadryl and Kleenex to sponsor next year's festivities, and John had to jog a few yards to catch up. "Beckett can send through something for your allergies, right?" he asked, coming up beside Rodney. "It'd be a shame not to enjoy the Aleysians' hospitality. You did hear the word 'feast,' right?"
If John hadn't been wearing his tac vest, Rodney would have delivered a sharp elbow to his ribs, but as it was he felt economy of motion was in his best interest. The less he moved, the less he needed to breathe, and the less he breathe, the less likely he was to-- "Ah-CHOO!"
"Gesundheit," John said, pulling a clean rag from one of his vest's many pockets and handing it to Rodney, without a thought. "Look, Rodney, if you want, you can gate back to the city. I just thought, you know, this was something we could do as a team. Ronon and Teyla, they looked so..."
"I dnow, I dnow," Rodney sighed. "That's aboud as close to excided as Rodod ever gets, add Teyla was pragdigally--"
"Glowing," John smiled fondly. "Yeah, she needs to smile like that more often, don'tcha think?"
Rodney shrugged. "Fide. I'll ask Beckedd for sombe Bedadryl. Bud thed you're godda have to bake sure I don'd fall asleep or somethidg. If I have to sit through sombe stubid pollend festible, I wand to understand the whole ridiculous thidg."
John managed to keep a straight face. Rodney really didn't get the point of the festival, did he? "Sure thing," he said easily, stepping through the door at the back of the jumper and heading for the cockpit so they could dial Atlantis.
~*~
"She's beautiful," Rodney breathed, leaning heavily against John's thigh as they watched Ronon swing Teyla between dozens of villagers to the insistent beat of a chorus of drums. John had to agree, and not only about Teyla; she and Ronon looked so at peace, so delighted, so right among the Aleysians that it was hard to tear his eyes away from them. But when he managed, he caught a glimpse of Rodney's face in the firelight, relaxed and happier than he'd seen him in, oh... probably ever.
"You're drunk," John laughed, nudging Rodney with his knee. Rodney leaned heavier against his leg and didn't argue. He was stoned on allergy medication and some kind of rich, sweet berry wine, though John hadn't let him have too much. One more glass, and Rodney would be awfully heavy to carry off to their rooms at the inn by himself, that was for sure.
"It's about sex," Rodney said, giving John a mischievous look.
John raised his eyebrows and looked around. Everyone who wasn't dancing to the admittedly arousing beat of the primal music was necking, sleeping, or very discreetly doing something which generally fell between those two stages. Rodney sure was quick on the uptake. "Oh, yeah?"
"The growing season lasts approximately eight months, by Earth standards," Rodney pointed out. John was surprised he'd picked that much up. Must've been before that first glass of wine knocked him on his ass at John's side. An eight month growing season seemed pretty excessive, but this wasn't Earth, after all, and it wasn't fair to assume things would be that similar in another galaxy. "The crops are planted just prior to the festival, and then, just after the harvest festival is when most of the children are born. The human gestation period is roughly nine months, give or take," Rodney added unnecessarily. Sex ed had been one of the only classes John had ever really applied himself to in high school. "It's about sex."
Even drunk, Rodney couldn't shut up for long, John mused. "Huh," he said, humoring Rodney with a monosyllabic response.
"Do you think Ronon and Teyla will...?" Rodney frowned, watching them. "Not that I don't think they ought to, if they want, I just--"
"I'm not asking," John smirked, ruffling Rodney's hair just because he could get away with it. "And if we're real lucky, they won't tell."
This oblique reference to a certain code of conduct caught Rodney's attention, and he glanced up at John very suddenly. "Let's go for a walk."
"A walk?"
"To, you know. Get some air," Rodney said, stumbling to his feet."It's just a little... oppressive, you know?" John's leg mourned the absence of his comfortable warmth pressed against him, and when Rodney held his hand out, John didn't hesitate in taking it. He'd kind of been enjoying the low hum of arousal through his body, the warmth of Rodney's body near his, the spell the music and the firelight was weaving, but he really, really didn't want to make Rodney feel uncomfortable.
Rodney led John away from the roaring bonfire, away from the crowd of villagers and the tables still heavily-laden with food and drink, just into the forest. The flicker of the fire still painted Rodney's face from a distance, and the beat of the drums still thrummed through their veins, primally erotic and deeply hypnotizing. Or maybe that was just the look in Rodney's eyes. John swallowed hard as Rodney stopped suddenly, backed him up against the nearest tree, and gave him a pleading look.
John answered the look with his trademark smirk, and was rewarded with a kiss, deep and searching. Rodney was still holding his hand. It was so hopelessly, tragically high-school that John couldn't help but laugh when they parted. Rodney looked hurt. "Oh, god," he said, hurt turning quickly to horror. "Sheppard, I'm so, so sorry. It's -- I -- the drugs, a-and the wine, and the music--"
"Rodney?" John said, still laughing.
"John?" Rodney replied, hesitantly.
"Shut up and do that again."
"Oh," Rodney breathed, his mouth moving instinctively closer to John's until his next gasped "oh," ghosted over John's lips. John rocked his hips agaisnt Rodney's and swallowed the resulting gasp gratefully. Rodney tasted like the spicy, savoury meats they'd glutted themselves on and the almost-syrupy wine that warmed their bellies after. His hands settled at John's hips, fingers twisting through belt-loops in an instinctive need to pull him closer, and John groaned, dragging Rodney with him back just outside the edge of the forest. Back into view of the bonfire and the celebrating villagers.
Rodney tried in vain to pick Teyla and Ronon out of the dwindling crowd from a distance, making tiny sounds of disappointment when John untangled his fingers from his waistband until he realized John was pulling his shirt over his head, stepping out of his pants... standing before Rodney wearing nothing but firelight and a smirk. Artlessly, Rodney reached for his own fly, growling with frustration when John slapped his hands away.
"Let me," John said simply, and Rodney let him, watching John's face in awe while John reverently undressed him and dropped to his knees in the soft grass. John mouthed kisses up and down Rodney's thighs, breathed warm air over his erection in the cool evening breeze. Rodney swayed dangerously and John reminded himself of his friend's slight intoxication. "Well, lay down or fall down, buddy," he said, his voice full of fondness. "It's your choice, but I guarantee the first one ends with less bruising."
Rodney obeyed him, something John would have to think more about later, when he wasn't dying to... to what? To give Rodney a sloppy, inexperienced blow-job and then watch the smug bastard fall asleep and leave John alone and unsated? John hesitated.
"Please," Rodney begged helplessly, unsure what it was he wanted from John, or what John was willing to give. He propped himself up on one elbow, reaching to cup John's cheek with his free hand and pull him up for another kiss. That seemed to make them both happy, and John stretched out along Rodney's body, kissing him savagely. John's weight on him was grounding, and the fresh air at the forest's edge had sharpened what senses the wine had dulled, leaving him suddenly, startlingly aware of what it was they were doing and utterly transfixed by John's erection, pressed against his hip. He rolled them over, taking John by complete surprise as he kissed his way down John's chest and stomach to get a better look.
He didn't have the first clue what to do with it, once he came face to face with John's cock. Well, he had the first clue, and he acted on it, taking John eagerly into his mouth. It was the clues after the first one that he was a little fuzzy on.
John swallowed a strangled exclamation of surprise when Rodney's mouth closed on him. Somehow he'd been sure that was something Rodney wouldn't even consider until... well, going there assumed that whatever this was lasted after tonight, and John was too practical to let himself think about that too much. Rodney went on to prove what John's father had told him when he was seventeen, that there's no such thing as bad head as long as it has a happy ending, by making up for his inexperience with enthusiasm beyond John's wildest expectations. Oh, Jesus, he even swallowed, and not just as a courtesy. He sucked and swallowed greedily until John had nothing left to give, and smacked his lips with smug satisfaction. But then he did something that just about broke John's heart. John looked down to see Rodney rubbing himself subtlely against the grass like he didn't think John planned on returning the damn favor. Leave it to Mr. IQ to miss the point entirely.
"Get up here, y'big dummy," John said affectionately, hauling Rodney up so he could give him a reassuring kiss. "Don't you get it yet?"
Rodney flushed to the tips of his ears. "Oh," he said softly. "I didn't think you really wanted--"
"Of course I wanted," John assured him. "I've always wanted."
"Really?" Rodney asked, making big eyes at John and somehow managing to look all of twelve years old. "Me?"
John gave him a crooked grin and stuck two fingers into Rodney's mouth, partly to prevent any more questions he wasn't prepared to answer properly after having his goddamned brain sucked out through his dick. "Yes, you," he said indulgently. "Lesson one: when you want an intelligent answer to a question, ask it before you do what you just did to me, got it? 'Cause braindead bonelessness is kinda the endgoal, here."
Rodney was torn between giving him a dirty look -- What, like Rodney had never been on the receiving end of one of those before? Pfft. -- and beaming happily at him. Neither of those was terribly easy with John's fingers in his mouth, though, so Rodney settled for asking, "There's more lessons to come?" It came out, "Mmm phmm mrmmrm rmrmmm?"
John cocked an eyebrow at him, understanding the garbled enquiry. "Yeah. Lesson two: when I stick my fingers in your mouth, get 'em good and wet. I promise you'll like what I do with 'em."
Rodney absolutely quivered and John stifled a groan as the mouth that had just done amazingly sinful things to his cock mimicked those same things on his fingers. What really got John wasn't the sucking so much as the obeying. If he'd known all it took to get McKay to do what he was told was to make it about sex, things would have been a lot easier the last couple years.
About five minutes later, with Rodney's cock buried as deep in his throat as he could take it and two fingers inside Rodney's ass, John looked up to see Rodney with a mouthful of fist and realized it was the best way to get him to shut up, too.
~*~
Teyla was still humming with excited energy the next morning as they joined the villagers for the traditional morning-after breakfast, which, thanks to Aleysian wisdom, consisted mostly of proteins and lots of fluids. Ronon was -- and this was actually kinda creepy -- smiling. For a long, humorous moment, Rodney had thought Ronon was baring his teeth in anger at something he'd said and did something he very rarely did except under threat of imminent death -- he attempted to verbally backpedal, which had resulted in Ronon all but roaring with laughter and clapping Rodney amiably on the back. John winced; that was gonna leave a mark, one he'd gladly soothe with kisses later if Rodney would let him.
Everyone, the Aleysians included, was in good spirits, and all in all, John considered this easily the most successful mission all year. They'd arranged a trade between the Aleysians and the Athosians, thanks to their participation in the festival, and all four members of his team were looking rested, relaxed and happy.
While John packed up his gear -- and Rodney's, something he hoped wasn't going to become a trend -- he noticed Rodney having an animated conversation with one of the Aleysian wise women. Well, it started out animated, and grew less and less so until Rodney was doing that thing where he seemed to kind of just fold in on himself, defeated. John didn't like that one bit. "Hey, McKay," he said, dropping Rodney's pack at his feet. "Gonna introduce me to your friend?"
Rodney opened his mouth and closed it. He looked at the old woman, then John and replied, "No," before grabbing his pack and bolting for the relative safety of Ronon's shadow.
John scowled and turned to the old woman. "Geez, lady, what'd you say to him?"
"I was simply telling your friend about the origin of the festival," she frowned, confused. "He had asked to know why we celebrate something which makes him sneeze," she added with an almost-smile.
"And?" John prompted.
"The pollen of the Aleysis trees energizes our people, fills the young with the desire to copulate and thus assists our numbers to grow with each following harvest. This is how it has always been," she explained. "A tea of the dried Aleysis flowers is sometimes used to aid virility in the infirm. The tree is vital to our survival and repopulation between cullings."
John groaned. "It's an-- oh, geez. Teyla!" he called, heading toward Rodney and Ronon. Rodney looked at John like he was a damn Wraith, and bolted toward the 'gate. "Shit. Teyla!" John called again as he started to run after Rodney. "Damage control!"
Teyla looked confused as she approached the wise woman, who closed her eyes and shook her head. "I have given your friend the wrong impression," she told Teyla. "He has mistaken my words for his own fears."
John finally had to tackle Rodney to get him to stop running, pinning him to the ground and thinking that it would be nice to be doing this under better circumstances. Rodney stared back at him, miserable. "We need to talk," John said between breaths. Rodney opened his mouth and John clapped a hand over it. "Scratch that. I need to talk and you need to listen."
If it was possible, John was sure he felt Rodney's frown deepen under his hand.
"Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong," John announced. Rodney glared daggers at him, and John sighed, letting go his mouth.
"Funny, because I was just thinking I know where that hand had been before you put it on my face," Rodney said, recoiling.
John rolled his eyes. "Not what I meant. And -- hey! You liked it at the time."
"That was before I found out we were all compromised," Rodney retorted. "Stupid alien sex pollen."
John snorted. "So you're saying if I did that again, you wouldn't like it the next time?"
"I'm saying you wouldn't do it again, unless we were still under the effects of--" Rodney trailed off. "Oh."
"I really like it when you say that," John said, kissing the corner of Rodney's mouth that unfailingly drooped lower than the other when he frowned. "Remember, last night, when I was--"
"Forgive me if I trust an Aleysian wise woman over an Air Force officer on the topic of Aleysian plantlife," Rodney said, cutting him off and pulling away.
"Forgive me if I call bullshit," John returned. "You never once thought about me like that before last night?"
"Of course I did," Rodney said coldly. "Do you think I make a habit of risking my life routinely and in stupid ways for people that I'm not in love with?"
John looked surprised and pleased. "Really?" Rodney gave him a glare so icy that he shivered. "Sorry."
"I'm not gay," Rodney said, stiffening.
"Yeah, me neither," John agreed. "Didn't stop me falling for you pretty much the first time you opened your mouth to talk at me."
"Good, then. We're agreed," Rodney said, pushing John off him and sitting up. "We can just prete-- what?"
"Got a thing for big mouths, bad attitudes and tight asses," John said, rolling onto his back in the dirt and looking up at Rodney. "So, like, five minutes with you and I was goner."
Rodney's mouth formed a hard line. "You're still compromised."
"I was never compromised," John insisted. "Just had a little, you know. Chemical assistance, thanks to the planet's naturally-occuring, uh..."
"Rutting season?" Rodney supplied.
"Not as classy or romantic-sounding as I was shooting for, but it'll do in a pinch."
"So, when we get back to Atlantis...?"
"If you still want, I still want," John assured him. "Nothing I said or did last night was a lie. And we only got up to lesson two," he added slyly. "I bet I can come up with at least another half-dozen before you start figuring them all out on your own."
"Ha," Rodney said, getting to his feet and dusting himself off before holding his hand out to John. John looked up at him with relief clear in his eyes for a moment before taking it and letting Rodney help him up out of the dirt. "Have you forgotten that I'm a genius, and therefore a disgustingly quick study?"
John grinned as they headed back to the village again. "Would you actually ever let me forget?"
~*~
Sitting on the foot of Teyla's bed, looking moderately uncomfortable, Ronon frowned. "Either they did, or they really, really didn't," he theorized. "Otherwise McKay wouldn't have freaked out and ran."
Teyla, brewing two cups of strong tea, laughed lightly. "I do not believe it is any of our business."
"You're not even a little curious? They've been your friends longer than they've been mine."
"The draw of the Aleysian festival is a strong one," Teyla told him. "If I thought they would be unable to resist its charms, I might not have suggested we stay."
Ronon raised one eyebrow, accepting a cup from Teyla. "You had this whole thing planned. I didn't know you were so..."
"Devoted to my friends?"
"Sneaky."
Teyla gave him a devilish smile before changing the subject. "They are likely having a similar conversation about us."
"Yeah?"
Taking a thoughtful sip from her tea cup, Teyla smiled serenely. "It is not any of their business, either."