Rodney
It was ridiculous at best. At worst, it was a nightmare waiting to happen. There was a reason our team worked as well as it did, and part of that was because most of the time, I could trust Ronon, John and Teyla to not be completely inept. When Elizabeth informed me that our team would be following up on some interesting energy readings Lorne's team picked up on P7A-935, I was all too eager to go. The UAV scans had picked up what looked like the remains of an Ancient city, and the assumption was that even if we didn't get a working zero point module out of the excursion, maybe we could stock up on spare drones.
Then she told me Radek was tagging along. Something about him discovering the readings, and so he should get to be there when I blah blah blah, whatever. Everyone knows she was only letting him go because she's got a thing for guys with accents. I wouldn't be surprised if they had some secret and totally unprofessional affair going on behind closed doors, not that I could really say anything about it at that point without being a hypocrite, considering I was getting dangerously close to that kind of situation myself. Anyway, she always favors him over me. It isn't fair.
P7A-935 was lush and green and would have been a perfect place for a getaway if we weren't there on business. The village was about half a mile from the gate, and even though the ruins were in the opposite direction, we had to make nice with the locals to get permission to scope things out. Strangely, the 'Ancestors' hadn't deigned to teach them to speak English, which made negotiations difficult, but not impossible. As it turned out, Teyla was fluent.
After an hour or two of smiling and nodding and interrupting Teyla to interject points that I worried she might miss, she turned to us and smiled. "It is done."
"Done? Just like that?"
"Well," she said, glancing hesitantly at the village council. "Not precisely."
Ronon rolled his eyes and John groaned, "What do we gotta do?"
"We must scout the site ourselves. They will offer no guide."
"That's not so bad," I pointed out. "We'd rather do it ourselves, anyway. At least then we don't have to worry about them screwing something up."
Teyla bit her lip. "We must also provide a member of our team to remain behind after we return to Atlantis. Indefinitely. They wish to introduce new blood into their gene pool, so to speak."
"No way," John and I said at the same time.
"He's ours," I continued. "They can't have him."
Teyla glanced at the chieftain. "You misunderstand. It is not Colonel Sheppard they wish to keep. It is you, Rodney. This culture values intelligence very highly."
Me? Why the hell would they want to keep me? The crazy aliens always want to keep Sheppard!
"No way in hell," John snapped. I managed not to grin like an idiot (or worse, swoon like the huge girl that I am.)
"There is more," Teyla said, frowning deeply. "I believe there is, in fact, more than one zero point module within the ruins."
I think I was gaping, because John reached over and pushed my jaw back up where it belonged. "No. Whatever you're thinking, Rodney, no."
Zelenka was having a conniption. He wanted those zero point modules as badly as I did, and I could tell he was trying to work out how to convince John to accept the trade. I was sure of it. I'd be damned if I was going to let him come out out with it first, though.
"We'll check it out," I decided, glad John usually deferred to me (to some degree) on scientific missions. "If we find anything of value, then we'll discuss expanding gene pools."
John
It reeked of a set-up. The villagers on P7A-935 were definitely up to something, and I didn't like it one bit, but without knowing for sure what it was, there wasn't much I could do. Stupid language barriers. Every other culture we'd encountered in this galaxy spoke English, so why not the one that wanted Rodney? I'd just started getting things on track, thanks to Jeannie's intervention, and now Rodney was going to sacrifice himself so Atlantis could have a couple dumb ZPMs? Over my dead body -- and I really hoped that didn't end up getting taken literally.
We were making camp just outside the ruins; Teyla was basking in the novelty of having a tent to herself while Ronon and Zelenka bickered about who got the "good" side of the one they had to share. "It's a good trade," Rodney said, unrolling his sleeping bag. "You'll be able to protect Atlantis against any eventuality."
I glared at him. "That's all that matters, right?"
The bastard looked me right in the eye and said, "Isn't it?"
Radek
Despite arguing with Ronon about the placement of our bedrolls, I could hear hushed voices coming from the tent which Colonel Sheppard and Rodney were to share. The voices were followed by the rustling of the tent flaps; then I heard nothing.
Ronon's lightning-fast reflexes paled only in comparison to his exceptional hearing, I realized, when I found myself alone in the tent as Ronon went to see what was the matter. "Great job, McKay," I heard him growl before poking his head back in. "McKay's an idiot. Sheppard's gone. I knew this was a bad idea."
Ronon
McKay's an idiot.
John
I didn't go far; I wouldn't just take off and leave my team or anything, but I needed to hit something and I kinda would have rather it not be Rodney, tempting as it was to knock some sense into his thick skull. He couldn't seriously think losing him was worth, what, like a little bit more shielding, and access to more of the city? Okay, so the shielding would have been cool and handy and stuff, but we were a team. And I don't mean me and Rodney and Teyla and Ronon, I mean me and Rodney specifically. When you got to the heart of it, it was the two of us that made it work -- it being the Atlantis expedition. As much as I love my friends and have grown to think of them as family, when it came right down to it, everyone else was superfluous.
So I slammed my fist into the first tree I found that looked like it could take a punch. Turned out it could take a punch better than I thought. Ouch.
"It's not the tree's fault you're both idiots," a voice said. I turned around and saw Ronon watching me with his arms crossed. He looked amused. "Don't try to tell me you wouldn't do it if the tables were turned."
"What, offer to stay behind on this backwater planet and impregnate their women so the city can have more power?" Well, when I looked at it that way... "You don't get it, Ronon. There's a lot more to this than me being pissed he wants to stay."
"He doesn't want to stay," Ronon said simply.
"We've got this... there's a..." I attempted, frowning. "Me and Rodney, we're..."
"Still not having sex."
"Yeah -- what?" I blinked at him, and he just shook his head.
"It's pretty sad, you know. Seriously. You could both use a good roll, and it's not like you've got anyone fooled that you're not into each other. Except, you know, each other."
I turned and whacked my head deliberately against the tree. It was that bad, huh?
"Look, you wanna hit something, hit me. The tree can't hit back."
Well, it sounded like a good idea at the time.