Lieutenant Laura Cadman opened her eyes to find herself in the infirmary, with Dr. Beckett at her bedside, checking some readings on her monitor. "Whoa, what happened?"
Carson. Thank god. What happened?
"Ah, welcome back, Lieutenant. You and Dr. McKay were beamed aboard a Wraith dart that crashed," Beckett explained. "Dr. Zelenka and Colonel Sheppard were able to get you out."
Hellooo, Carson. What am I, chopped liver?
"McKay?"
Yes? Hello? Lieutenant?
"Still trapped in the dart, I'm afraid," Beckett said, frowning worriedly. "Dr. Zelenka's working on how to get him out."
No, I'm not. What are you talking about? I'm right here.
Laura Cadman blinked her eyes. She'd just distinctly heard his voice. "Are you yanking my chain, Doc?"
"No..." Carson said, furrowing his brow.
Hello? Carson, don't be an idiot. You're looking directly at me.
Laura looked around. The beds on either side of her were empty. McKay was nowhere to be seen, and as far as she could tell, Dr. Beckett was looking at her. "Okay," she said, smiling calmly. "When can I get out of here?"
"As soon as you like. Now, if you're feeling up to it, though I'd suggest taking it easy for a few days."
All right, Carson, it's not funny any longer. Stop it. Carson? Cadman? Anyone?
"Sure." Laura smiled as Carson drew the curtain around the bed so she could change out of her johnny.
Oh my god, I've got breasts.
"Eyes front, McKay," Cadman muttered.
Oh no. This is not good. I cannot have your body. We have to switch back!
"What switch?" Laura asked, pulling her tee shirt on over her bra. "I've got all my parts. You're the one who's out of luck. Guess you'll have to cancel your date with Katie. It's a shame, because she really was looking forward to it." She pulled back the curtain to find Carson looking at her quizzically.
"Is anything the matter?" he asked, frowning. "It's just that you were talking--"
"To myself," Laura said, laughing it off. "I do that sometimes. You must think I'm a total flake now."
What? You have to tell him I'm... in here! Cadman!
Carson smiled and shook his head. "Of course not. I think you're a lovely young woman."
And I think you're evil. This is so far from funny that it's not even on the humor scale.
"Ohh," she said, melting a little. It was the accent. "That is so sweet."
Carson shrugged, looking shy. "Aye, well. It's the truth. Actually, when you're feeling a bit more yourself... I generally make it a rule not to date patients, but as everyone here is going to be my patient at some point or another, it's rather silly to... what I mean to say is--"
Oh, shut up. Nobody's buying the shy act, Carson.
"I'd love to," Laura grinned.
"Aye?" Carson brightened. "Well, lovely, then. Perhaps tomorrow evening?"
No. Tomorrow's terrible. Say no. Say no. Say no.
"Tomorrow's great."
~*~
I can't believe you.
"What's there to believe?"
You're going on a date. With my friend!
"Yeah, so? You were going to go on a date with my friend."
Not with you in my head I wasn't!
"Come on, McKay. It'll be fun."
Not if your date goes well, it won't. We are not having sex with Carson, do you understand me? I can not know what he looks like naked.
"So close your eyes."
I can't. I don't have any of my own at the moment.
"It's dinner, McKay. Nobody said anything about sex."
No, of course not. But no one ever does, do they? No one ever says that the point of dating is sex, but it's the truth, isn't it? That's what you're hoping for.
"You can't really blame me, can you? It's not like there's a whole lot else going on here. Carson's cute, he's sweet, he's smart... we could do a lot worse."
I hate you.
"Shut up, McKay."
~*~
Rodney's eyes opened suddenly, darting back and forth. Experimentally, he tried to raise his hand, and watched in awe as this small, almost delicate hand came towards him. It was connected to a slender but undeniably strong arm. "Well, she is in the Marines," he thought aloud, and slapped the hand over his mouth. His voice was high and feminine and sounded foreign to his ears. Steeling himself, he looked down at his -- her -- body. She was naked under the blankets. "Well, come on, now, who sleeps naked in a military installment? I'm sorry, but that's just impractical."
Wrapping the sheet around himself, he set about finding clothes. He settled on a pair of fatigues and a black t-shirt, but first he had to work out undergarments. "Oh, give me a break," he muttered, holding up black cotton thong after black cotton thong. "I sincerely doubt these are Corps approved." He put them on anyway, fidgeting a little while he tried to get used to the sensation of his underwear riding up his ass and searched for an appropriate brassiere. These, at least, seemed to be fairly practical. He finished dressing, admired Cadman's reflection in the mirror and nodded. "That will do nicely," he decided, and headed out to find Colonel Sheppard.
He found him in the Mess, talking with a few of the other marines, who greeted Cadman. Rodney wasn't sure how to respond, so he just said, "Uh, hey, guys. Listen, Colonel, could I have a word in private please?"
The other marines sent up a rowdy cheer as John steered him out into the corridor. "What's up, Lieutenant?"
"Well, that's just the thing. You see--" Rodney paused. Unless he was very much mistaken, John was checking him out. In the same instant he felt both a thrill and a sinking disappointment. Not to mention slightly jealous. "Actually, this isn't really what I meant by private," he said. "It's kind of personal, and I'd appreciate it if..."
"Of course." John said, clearly concerned. "Your quarters?"
Rodney nodded and started for his quarters.
"Uh, Cadman?"
"Huh?" Rodney froze. "I mean, um, yes, sir?"
"Aren't your quarters that way?"
"Right," Rodney said, cursing himself. "Still a little turned around, I guess."
John gave her a friendly smile and followed her to her quarters. They sat down on her bed, and John looked at him. "Okay. So what's this about, Lieutenant?"
Rodney batted Cadman's eyelashes at him. "Colonel -- permission to speak freely?"
"Sure. Uh, call me John."
"Right."
There was an awkward silence while Rodney tried to figure out something personal that Cadman would want to talk to John about.
John cleared his throat and Rodney started. "Colonel -- um, John. I'm... attracted to you. I know that there are rules in place that prevent fraternization--"
"Laura -- can I call you Laura?"
"Lau--? I mean, um, yeah. Sure."
John nodded and took her hand. "Laura. There's actually someone that I'm already interested in, romantically. You're a beautiful girl, and any guy would be lucky to date you, but... I think I might be in love with this other person."
"I see." Rodney was deeply disappointed, but he smiled. "Teyla's a very lucky woman."
"About that," John said, frowning. "Look, between you and me, completely off the record?"
"Of course," Rodney replied, giving John's hand a squeeze. It seemed like the thing to do.
"It's not Teyla. It's not any woman in Atlantis, actually."
"Someone on the mainland?" Rodney scoffed. "I mean, good for you. It's probably better that way."
"It's McKay. I'm kinda losing it, you know, having him stuck in that damn Wraith dart, and there's nothing I can do to get him out. I was so sure the life sign I picked out was his -- no offense, of course -- and now I feel like I failed him somehow. We have this thing, I guess, where we trade off saving each other's asses, and I guess somewhere along the line I started, you know, admiring his. It's completely weird, because he's pretty much my best friend apart from Teyla, and we're both supposed to be straight."
Rodney had been listening to him intently, Cadman's mouth hanging open in slight shock. "Rodney McKay?" he asked incredulously. Forget disappointed, this was better than Rodney could have hoped for. His plan, more or less, was to use Cadman's feminine charms and his own wiles to seduce John. It was a once in a lifetime shot, he'd figured, but now...
"The one and only," John said affectionately. "I know. He's rude, he's arrogant, he's self-centered--"
"--except when it comes to you."
John grinned. "Yeah. And I've got it pretty bad. I know it's, like, a long shot--"
"You'd be surprised," Rodney said softly. "You should tell him."
"Really?" John furrowed his brow. "I kinda think he'd freak out. And I don't want to lose him as a friend, you know?"
"I can very safely say that isn't possible. I -- Rodney might be prickly and, and brusque, and smug, but I can tell you with a great deal of certainty that he's absolutely not going to freak out."
"Huh. I didn't know you guys were that close." John narrowed his eyes at Rodney, as though he were looking right through Cadman and into him.
"We're not," Rodney recovered. "I'm just good at reading people."
John smiled. "Yeah. Well, I should probably go now. But, you know, if it wasn't for Rodney--"
"Yeah. Good luck."
Standing up, John said, "Thanks."
The door shut behind him and Rodney let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.
Are you finished? I'd like my body back, if you don't mind.
Rodney felt Cadman's cheeks grow pink. "How much of that did you hear?"
Oh, only from about the point where you almost screwed up my chances with Carson. If Colonel Sheppard hadn't turned you -- me -- down... argh!
Well, I'm sorry. But I had to try it. You don't understand what it's like for me.
"No? I suppose you're gonna tell me, though, aren't you, McKay?"
Do the words 'don't ask, don't tell' ring any bells for you, Lieutenant?
Cadman was silent for a moment. "Okay, I can see how that would suck for you. So what's up with the date with Katie, then?"
She's been asking for a while. I ran out of excuses, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. She's one of the few people in the department that are nice to me when they don't have to be.
"Geez, McKay. You're all heart, you know that?" Cadman said sarcastically. "You could have told her there was someone else. Like Sheppard just did."
Yes, well, John happens to be a lot better in social situations than I am. That's hardly my fault.
"Whatever. Can we just get some actual sleep now, please? The horizontal kind, not the walking around hitting on the senior officer in charge of military operations kind?"
I'll stay horizontal, but I make no promises about sleeping. I've got a lot to digest now, you realize.
"Do what you gotta, McKay. Just keep it down."
~*~
"Gimme some good news, Zelenka," John said, crossing his arms and watching the scientists hard at work in the hangar.
"I'd love to," Radek said, frowning. "Unfortunately I haven't been able to work out the power requirements yet. The calculations are very delicate, and at the moment if we tried to beam McKay out, it would almost certainly kill him."
"Come on! I know you guys are working really hard down here, but I was hoping for something more encouraging than that."
"I'm sorry, Colonel, but the person who'd be best suited to help figure this out is the person we're currently trying to retrieve."
John nodded. "I understand. Keep trying, okay?" Zelenka nodded and John walked out of the hangar, running into Elizabeth in the corridor.
"Just the man I was looking for. Any luck?" she asked, turning around and falling into step with him.
"Only if we like our McKay extra-crispy-style," John frowned. "Listen, have you seen Cadman?"
"I haven't," Elizabeth replied. "Should I have?"
"I don't know," he said, turning down another hall. "I just had this really weird encounter with her last night; I think there's something up with her."
"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I've been hearing rumors about you coming out of her quarters last night."
"Yeah. She wanted to talk in private," John explained. "We don't know much about this Wraith beaming thing, right?"
"Right."
"Is it possible that somehow when we beamed Cadman out, we got the right body and the wrong personality? I mean, the thing was damaged from the crash. And, uh, being shot out of the sky."
"Rodney in a woman's body?" Elizabeth laughed. "Now that's something I would pay good money to see, but I really don't think it's possible. Unless, of course, Rodney's secretly harboring feelings for Carson. He and Laura have a date tonight."
"They do?" John asked, surprised. "Huh. Wishful thinking, I guess. Zelenka was saying how they'd be able to figure out the power thing sooner if they had Rodney on it."
"Well, that's certainly true," Elizabeth agreed. "But Radek's just as qualified as Rodney, and I have confidence he and the science team will work this out."
~*~
I'm hungry.
"You can't be hungry," Laura muttered. "You don't have a stomach." A passing nurse gave her a strange look. "Can't you just be quiet? Look, Carson is cooking me dinner, okay, so we'll eat soon."
Soon isn't now.
Cadman had arrived at her quarters and began rifling through her clothes, looking for something to wear. "You're right. It's not," she replied. "But if you don't shut up, I won't eat anything at all."
You wouldn't.
"Try me. I dare you." After a moment, satisfied that Rodney was going to be silent for the time being, Laura took off her clothes and stepped into the shower. To his credit, Rodney managed to stay quiet for almost ten minutes.
Don't they teach you to conserve water in the Marines?
"We're in a floating city in the middle of a huge ocean, McKay."
Can you please just hurry it up? I'm not comfortable with this.
"Comfortable with what? With me being naked, or with me getting clean?"
Your continued nudity is very disturbing, all right? I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is. You're a, a lovely girl, but I hardly know you and I'm not comfortable with nude strangers.
Cadman heaved a world-weary sigh and turned the water off. "Fine. If my body is that offensive to you--"
That isn't what I meant. It isn't even what I said!
"Whatever. Just please, please keep the chatter to a minimum during dinner? I don't want Carson thinking I'm a nutjob."
Yes, fine, but then you're going to go tell Zelenka that I'm not even in that stupid dart.
"Of course I will," Laura agreed readily. "In the morning."
~*~
Carson had set a lovely table for two. Unfortunately, though, his cooking had gone a bit awry and he'd had to fetch dinner from the mess. It was still a romantic, intimate setting. If Rodney had a mouth he would have vomited.
"Salisbury steak tastes much better outside of the mess," Laura commented, bending over her plate slightly with the next bite to flash Carson some cleavage. If Rodney had eyes, he would have rolled them.
"Well, they do say it's all in the presentation, aye?" Carson winked at her across the table. Another mental eye-roll. This was just disgusting. They were so... cute.
Could you please tone down the sickly sweet babble? Some of us aren't capable of throwing up at the moment.
"Well, they should let you dictate the decor in the mess. I think everyone would benefit from a more pleasant atmosphere."
"That's kind of you," Carson smiled, "but I'm afraid they do keep me rather busy in the infirmary."
"Oh! Of course!" Laura laughed, covering her mouth. "I'm sorry, I just meant--"
"It's all right. I'll admit, sometimes when I'm being paged, I'd love nothing better than to skive off duty, but it's a rare occasion that I'm needed and it's not incredibly urgent." Carson shrugged and took a sip of his wine, the only thing that had been salvageable from the meal he'd attempted earlier.
Like, oh, say, for instance, a Marine corps Lieutenant with a second consciousness in her brain?
Laura frowned deeply, and Carson looked worried. "Are you feeling quite well?"
"Oh, no, I'm fine."
Rodney. Rodney, what the hell are you doing?
"I've just got to leave. It's been wonderful, and I hope we can do it again, but right now I just--"
Rodney! Let me out of here!
"Well, I've got these horrible, nasty cramps. I'm menstruating."
No I'm not! You're ruining my date!
Carson was completely unfazed. "I've got some ibuprofen, if you'd like. Sometimes a warm compress and a nice lie-down will help with that, as well."
You are such an asshole, Rodney McKay! This is mortifying!
"Yes, of course. Ibuprofen. Warm compress. Thank you for being so understanding. Maybe we could reschedule for another night? Soon."
Right, like I'm going to be able to face him. I hate you.
"I'd like that," Carson said, and there was that shy smile again. He showed Rodney to the door. "Perhaps I could have a wee kiss? To seal the raincheck."
"Oh, um..." Rodney couldn't come up with a good reason Laura wouldn't kiss Carson, so he just smiled and gave him a quick peck, which Carson turned into a slightly longer peck than Rodney was comfortable with. "Goodnight, Carson."
Our first kiss and it wasn't even me he was kissing. I am going to murder you as soon as you get your own damn body back.
The door closed behind Rodney and he took off at a run, only to fall flat on his face in Laura's heels. "Marines wear stillettos?"
"When they're not in uniform, assuming they're female, they can."
Rodney picked himself up off the ground and tried again, this time slower. "How very practical of you. Much like this bit of dental floss you dare to call underpants."
"You're the only man who's ever complained about my thongs."
"Yes, well I'm probably the only man who's ever had to wear them."
"You'd be surprised. Where the hell are we going?"
"The hangar. Radek needs to know I'm not actually in the dart in order to figure out how to get me out of you and into my own body. How the hell do you live like this?"
"Like what?"
"With these godforsaken things on the front of your chest. They get in the way, they're heavy, and quite frankly my back hurts."
"You mean my back."
"Potayto, potahto."
"Uh, Rodney?"
Rodney whirled around only to come face to face with John. "What-- who-- how did you know?"
"Lucky guess," John shrugged. "...Are you okay?"
"Considering that I have breasts, I'm wearing the most uncomfortable undergarment known to man or woman, and for some ridiculous reason, Lieutenant Cadman has crammed our feet into these horrid torture devices? No, definitely not okay. Thanks for asking."
"Hey, I'm not thrilled about this arrangement, either," Cadman grumbled. "He thinks he can just take over my body whenever the hell he wants."
"Certain parties sharing this body with me who shall remain nameless," Rodney scowled, "refused to tell anyone I was in here for fear it might jeopardize her romantic life."
"Yeah, well he told Carson I had cramps and bailed on the date anyway. And then he kissed him!"
"You kissed him?" John asked, straightening his posture. "Rodney, what the hell?"
"Well I didn't want to completely destroy her chances. I just wanted to get out of there so I could find Zelenka. He needs to know I'm not in the dart, and as much as I hate to admit it, Carson does seem to genuinely like her. Of course, he's never had to share a body with her, but that's beside the point."
"That's the sweetest thing you've ever said," Laura said, cocking her head to the side. "I forgive you for kissing Carson but not for telling him I had my period!"
John pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. "Okay, you two are giving me a headache. Let's go find Zelenka and get this straightened out, okay?"
"Yes, sir."
John laughed. "See, at least I know for sure that wasn't Rodney."
~*~
"Yes, ha ha. Everyone yuk it up at my expense. Wonderful. Somebody let me know when you're all through, and bear in mind that with the exception of Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Weir, you all work for me." Rodney put his hands on his feminine hips and waited.
"Come on, Rodney," Elizabeth chided. "They've all been working for the last 24 plus hours, and you have to admit, the halter dress look is really working for you."
John, standing at Rodney's side, snorted, but to his credit, managed not to laugh. The science department as a collective was not nearly as successful.
"Don't test me. Half of you are still inside your ninety day probationary periods, and I can have you on the next ship back to Earth before you can recite pi to ten decimal places!" Rodney stomped his foot and snapped the stiletto heel right off the shoe. Swaying dangerously, he grabbed John's arm for support.
Great job, Rodney. Do you have any idea how much I paid for those?
"Far more than they're worth," he replied, inspecting the damage. "Shoddy craftsmanship. And anyway, your feet are killing me."
Don't be a baby.
Rodney ignored her and took off her shoes.
"You guys keep doing what you're doing," John said, steering Rodney away from his employees. "I'm going to go caffeinate Dr. McKay."
"What are you -- no, I want to stay here -- John!" Rodney stomped as hard as he could on John's toe. "Ow," he muttered. "Note to self, bare feet versus boots, boots win. You know I can see directly up your nose right now, don't you? Frankly, you could use a trim."
John rubbed self-consciously at his nose. "As much of a kick as I know you get, yelling at your scientists, they're not going to get any further with this problem if you're hovering and making idle threats. So we're gonna take a walk, drink some coffee, and come back when you think you have something positive to contribute."
"I don't want to take a walk."
"Rodney," John sighed. "Don't make me throw you over my shoulder and physically haul you away."
~*~
"Well, it looks like all it took to build morale was to stick Dr. McKay in a dress," Elizabeth said, surveying ongoing project in the hangar. "How are the trials coming along?"
Zelenka frowned. "We've successfully rematerialized the mice several times, but they have yet to, um, survive the rematerialization process. Now, admittedly, the human body is a great deal less fragile than that of a mouse, but I'm not confident enough in the power conversion calculations to try it on Rodney and Lt. Cadman."
Elizabeth nodded. "Of course. We can't those kind of chances. Is there anything you or your people need?"
Radek looked around. "Coffee," he said decisively. "Lots of coffee."
"Done. Anything else?"
"Well," he said, frowning down at the laptop he was currently running simulations on. "If you've got any friends in high places, we could certainly use a miracle."
~*~
The kitchen off the mess hall was usually deserted at this hour, but when Elizabeth went in to start brewing some coffee for the science officers, she found John and Rodney sitting in the corner, drinking coffee and talking in hushed tones. She poured herself a cup from their pot and brought out one of the larger coffee makers, the ones used during meal times. Once she'd started it percolating, she sat down with them.
"It's not that I'm worried about her, really," Rodney was saying. "It's just that I can sort of feel her giving up. Or maybe she's just trying to stay out of the way while we fix this, but Cadman never struck me as the type to sit back and shut up for anyone, let alone me."
"Can you switch off?" John asked, frowning. "Can you just, you know, let her out for a while?"
"That's what I mean, I'm trying to, but she won't. She's still there, but... I don't know for how long."
"Let me try something," John told him. "Cadman, come out. I wanna talk to you. That's an order."
"Hey, Colonel." Cadman's voice was weak. "I'm okay, really."
"Oh yeah?" John raised his eyebrows. "How come McKay thinks you're giving up, huh? You're not a quitter, are you Cadman?"
"No, sir. Just know when to make a graceful exit."
"Funny. I didn't think they made Marines that give up so easy."
Cadman laughed. "Well, I've always been a custom order, sir."
"So what's this about?"
"Atlantis. The mission. I'm replacable. When I'm gone, there'll be another shipload of Marines to take my place. Rodney -- Dr. McKay -- he's vital."
Elizabeth, who had been silent until that point, butted in. "Laura, I know this isn't easy, but we need you to hold on. Dr. Zelenka and the others -- they are going to find a way to fix this. You mustn't give up hope yet. Besides, the last thing Rodney's ego needs is a Marine who could kick his ass, conceding defeat to him."
Laura laughed again, weakly. "I'll let you guys have your genius back now."
John nodded his thanks. "Okay, Rodney. Now let's try brainstorming without yelling at anyone." Cadman looked frightened, and John swallowed hard. "Rodney?"
"No, sir. He's... I can't hear him anymore."
John felt a chill go down his spine. "Okay, back to the hangar. I have an idea."
"John?" Elizabeth looked concerned.
"Rodney's too damn stubborn to give up without a fight. If he's fading out it's because he can't fight."
Elizabeth nodded and put her hand on John's. "Zelenka will fix this."
"Not fast enough," John snapped. "I did't save his ass this many times just to let him go now."
~*~
"Yes or no, Zelenka. The gate dematerializes you, sends your information to the gate on the other end, and rematerializes you." John was getting impatient.
"Well, yes, but--"
"But nothing. Couldn't you take one of the crystal control modules from the gate and interface it with the dart to stabilize the power input?"
"In theory." Zelenka paused, waiting for John to interrupt him. When he didn't, Radek continued. "We'll have to run a simulation first, and then I'd like to test it--"
"We don't have time," John said forcefully. "Get it done. Now. That's an order."
Radek didn't bother pointing out that he was a civilian. He left, returning with the necessary crystal control modules and did as he was told. Checking it with his laptop, he looked pleased with the results. "It should work, Colonel, but I have no way to be sure."
"If we don't do this now, Rodney might run out of time. Cadman, are you ready?"
"As I'm going to be, sir."
Elizabeth frowned, having followed the exchange carefully. "John, are you sure you want to do this?"
John looked at her, hard. "He'd do it for me."
She nodded, backing up. "Go ahead," she said to Laura, showing her where to stand.
"Wait!" Laura held up her hand. "Before we do this, just in case... sir? He wants me to tell you... maybe you'd better come here." John obliged, and Cadman whispered something in his ear. He smiled, almost sadly and backed out of the way of the dart.
Zelenka set the dart's beaming system in motion. A beam of light swept over Lieutenant Cadman, leaving nothing behind. "It's reading as two life signs," he announced, then pressed the necessary sequence on the interface pad to beam them out.
Laura and Rodney appeared, collapsing instantly to the floor. "Somebody page Dr. Beckett to the infirmary. Let's get these two there, stat. Move, people," Elizabeth ordered.
John refused help carrying Rodney there. He laid him down on a free bed and stepped back to let a nurse check Rodney's vitals while Elizabeth explained the situation to Carson, but he wouldn't leave his side.
It was hours later when they started to come out of it. Cadman was first to wake up, and she gave John a shy smile before letting Carson cluck over her like a mother hen. John looked down to his hand, holding Rodney's, in time to see the weak squeeze that he barely felt. John's face lit up like Christmas. "Welcome back," he said softly. "You scared the hell out of me."
Rodney managed a weak laugh. "Yes, well I scared the hell out of myself, too."
They were silent a moment until John suddenly remembered something he'd wanted to tell Rodney. "Hey," he said, leaning in close. "I love you, too."
On the other side of the infirmary, Carson exclaimed, "He what? Oh, lord, I feel so... so violated!" Cadman's gale of giggles made both John and Rodney smile.
"I do someone a little favor, and this is the thanks I get?" Rodney called out. "Who does a guy have to make out with to get a little medical attention around here?"
Cadman's giggles escalated until she was clutching her sides, and Rodney gave her a grin before Carson could start sticking him with needles.
"You," Carson said accusingly, checking the readouts next to Rodney's bed. "You didn't even call me in the morning, ye lout."
Rodney smirked. "Well, I was a bit occupied with not dying, thank you so much."
"Aye, well, I'll forgive you this time," Carson chuckled. "But you can forget about coming home to meet my mum."
~*~
"Wow."
John chuckled. "You can say that again."
Rodney smirked, "Perhaps 'wow' is a bit of an understatement. What did you call that again?"
"Don't you dare ever scare me like that again sex," John grinned rakishly. "Although I think it's safe to say we'll have a lot of that in the future."
"Is there such a thing as thank god you're nearly as brilliant as I am sex?"
John let out a piteous groan. "Gimme about three hours and one square meal, and we can find out."